It is common for women to have better orgasms (or only orgasm) during masturbation. Since there are so many elements involved in a woman’s experience of sexual intercourse, it may be that the root cause is not physical. If you want to address the possible cause, you may want to talk to a sex therapist to help you work through this before it has a negative impact on your relationship. In the meantime, here are some things you can try to work toward orgasm with your partner:
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• Find the position that gives you the most pleasure.
• Keep breathing. Since all your body muscles contract leading up to and during orgasm, you need the oxygen.
• Move yourself: move your hips and your entire body to fully involve yourself in the act of lovemaking.
• Ask your partner to talk 'sexy' to you: sex is not only motion but it is also emotion.
• Let your partner know what you need as you need it. Slow and rhythmic movements that gradually build up will help achieve orgasm.
• Stimulate your clitoris with your fingers or a sex toy.
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• Caress your breasts. This allows your body to produce ocytocine, the hormone necessary for orgasm.
• Perform regular exercises for your perinea muscles (Kegal exercises)
• Fantasize: Think erotically during sex and throughout the day. This makes you more receptive to arousal. You can enhance your fantasies with erotic books or films.
• Masturbate: It may seem strange, but it will help you to understand your sexual rhythm and discover your erogenous zones. As a bonus, sharing this activity with your partner can be arousing for both of you.
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