If you are married and a parent, how is your sex life? (What do you mean, “What sex life?”) Depending on the age of your children and the size of your family, it might not be great. Many parents wish that they had more quality intimate time together. If that’s the case, there are some things you can do to make that happen. When it comes to intimacy, remember that more than just sex is involved.
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Intimacy happens everywhere, not just in the bedroom. Consider getting a babysitter (or a trusted friend or family member) for a few hours so you and your spouse can get out of the house and enjoy time alone. Yes, I’m talking about a date. Unfortunately, many married couples find themselves in a comfort zone that feels more like a friendship than a marriage. Dating is an easy way to prevent that from happening. If you are comfortable leaving your children with a trusted friend or relative overnight, you can even check into a hotel overnight for some more private time together. Wait! Overnight? How did we get there so quickly? What does this mean? It means that in addition to enjoying a traditional date, you can also have a sexual night of privacy. Along those lines, consider approaching the parents of your children’s friends. Talk with them making a monthly arrangement for overnight sleepovers. Let them keep your kids for one night and you can do the same for them. This approach is nice, as you are likely to feel comfortable leaving your children in the care of another parent. Your children will also enjoy a “kid’s night” as well, so it a lovely situation all around. Since all parents find it difficult to seek privacy and intimacy, an arrangement like this could work well all around.
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Although dating is important to your relationship, be realistic. Not every night can be a date night, but there are still ways that you can be romantic and intimate at home. A simple hug or kiss in passing lets each other know that the passion is still there, without making your children feel uncomfortable or out of place. (And, as an aside, children n aside, children who grow up watching their parents being loving toward each other tend to be more loving themselves, and learn that affection is natural, appropriate, and acceptable.)
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Another way to keep the romance and intimacy alive throughout the course of a day is the use of text messages. Send your spouse a sexy and seductive text message. Let them know that you can’t wait until they arrive home. Even if your partner is sitting across the room from them, send them a quick message. A handwritten love note can be just as effective. (Tuck it in a coat pocket, briefcase, lunch tote, etc.) If you are willing to be a little creative, as parents can still have a happy and healthy sex life.
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